Stone Cold Hot Takes

 

Stone Cold Hot Take: Noun \ˈstōn ˈkōld ˈhät ˈtāk\

Definition: An outlandish, thought provoking, controversial? football prediction going down in the near future.

 

Correct Takes

ANDY CARLSON: Jim Harbaugh will be coaching Michigan in 2015 YES! YES! YES!!!

ERIC GALKO (1): Dorial Green-Beckham will not be a 1st round pick. YES!

BRANDON WARNE: The Twins will be watchable in September this season YES!

PHIL MACKEY (1): Stefon Diggs is the #1 wide receiver on the Minnesota Vikings YES!

 

Still Alive Takes

GIANCARLO KING (1): Bryce Petty will become an outstanding NFL QB.

HOWARD SINKER: Marc Trestman will be coaching D-II college football by 2016.

ERIC GALKO (2): Bryce Petty will be out of the league in three years.

MATT WALDMAN (2): Brett Hundley will have the longest, most productive career of the top-3 quarterbacks in this draft.

PHIL MACKEY (3): Byron Buxton will be better than Miguel Sano.

RON JOHNSON: There will be replay on NFL officials.

JEFF HUGHES:  Jay Cutler will be 2016 NFL MVP

 

 

Defunct Takes

ARIF HASAN: The Vikings will lead the league in sacks in 2014 Nope

LINDSEY YOUNG: The Dolphins will win the NFC East in 2014 Nope

GEORGETTE JEDIK: The Browns will make a “significant” playoff run with Brian Hoyer this season. Nope

TED GLOVER (1): Minnesota will beat Michigan on Sept 27th. Streveler will complete 0 passes (Wolverine QBs will only complete 3), the Gophers will rush 64 times for 375 yards and bring home The Little Brown Jug. (This is an oddly specific SCHT…) (Technically NOPE!)

TED GLOVER (2): JOHN Harbaugh will be coaching Michigan in 2015 Nope

GIANCARLO KING (2): The San Diego Chargers will win the Super Bowl this season. Nope

KYLE SEGALL (1): Anthony Barr will lead the Vikings in sacks this season by 3.0 sacks. Nope

KYLE SEGALL (2): Tom Brady will be the QB of the Buffalo Bills in 2015.

DARREN CAMPBELL: Kalil would be benched vs Buffalo and replaced by Mike Harris after giving up 3 sacks. Kalil Remains 🙁

LUKE INMAN (1): By Week 17, all 9 of the Vikings 2014 draft picks will be contributing in a significant manner. Nope

LUKE INMAN (2): Kyle Rudolph will lead the 2014 Vikings in TD receptions, despite injury. Nope

ARIF HASAN: Jerick McKinnon will be a 2014 Pro Bowler. Nope

ERIC THOMPSON: The Vikings will go 0-3 during their 3 game homestand. (Week 12: Packers, Week 13: Panthers, Week 14: Jets) Nope

JEFF LLOYD: Patriots-Packers. Super Bowl 49. Green Bay wins. Nope

DARREN PAGE: Cordarrelle Patterson scores an offensive TD Week 15 @ the Lions. (Extra credit if he throws a TD) Nope

OSCAR HAZELL: The Falcons win the NFC South, beat the Cardinals in the Wild Card Round, lose in divisional, Fire Mike Smith, and Hire Rex Ryan. Nope

JULIE DiCARO: Harbaugh to the Bears 2015. Nope

ADAM CARLSON: Duron Carter will be signed by the Vikings, but fail to make the 53 man roster. Nope

AUSTIN BELISLE: The 49ers will trade Colin Kaepernick for Jay Cutler. Nope

TRAVIS HANCOCK (2): If the Patriots win the Super Bowl this year, Bill Belichick will retire. And do TV.

DARREN CAMPBELL: Adrian Peterson will be a Texan in 2015. Nope

TRAVIS HANCOCK (1): RG3 will be a Bear in 2015. Competing with Cutler. Nope

MATT WALDMAN (1): Marcus Mariota will be an Eagle in 2015. Nope

ERIC THOMPSON: The Vikings will NOT draft a linebacker in the first two rounds of the 2015 draft. Nope

JACKSON McINTIRE: The Vikings will trade a 4th or 5th round pick for Eric Weddle Nope

JILL HAMMY: The Minnesota Wild will make it to the Western Conference Finals Nope

TOM SHEFCHIK: If the current Tom Brady suspension (4 games) stands, the Patriots will miss the playoffs in 2015.  Nope

SAM EKSTROM: There will not be a Minnesota native on the Vikings 53-man roster in 2015. Nope

LINDSEY YOUNG: Adrian Peterson will NEVER play another down for the Vikings Nope

MICHAEL GREY: Adrian Peterson will not rush for more than 100 yards in any game in 2015. Nope

PHIL MACKEY (2): The Falcons will be 10-0 when the host the Vikings in Week 12. Nope

CHRISTOPHER GATES: The 2015 Vikings leader in receiving yards will be Charles Johnson NO

BRAD DAVIS: Adrian Peterson will rush for 1700 yards in 2015. NO

TOM SCHREIER: Cordarrelle Patterson will have a rebound year, score a TD at Lambeau then moon Packer fans (bare-ass) in celebration. He will then serve a three-game suspension. NO

PAUL ALLEN: Melvin Gordon will be the offensive rookie of the year in 2015. NO

CHRIS SCHAD: Eric Kendricks will win Defensive Rookie of the Year. NO

DAVE SCHWARTZ: Teddy Bridgewater will throw for over 4000 yards and 25 TDs in 2015. NO

MATT VENSEL: Tyrod Taylor will win the Bills starting QB job & they will make the playoffs in 2015. NO

ANDREW KRAMMER: Charles Johnson will have more receiving yards than Mike Wallace in 2015. NO

BRIAN HALL: Kyle Rudolph with have 80 catches and double digit TDs in 2015 NO

WILL HORTON: Todd Gurley wins NFL Offensive Player of the Year and MVP as the Rams go to the playoffs. NO

ASHER MATHEWS : By the end of 2015, Derek Carr will set the Raiders franchise record for best passer rating in a season (higher than 103. 4). NO

ALEX GELHAR: Jared Abbrederis will lead the Packers in receiving from Week 11 to the end of the season. NO

DAYNA O’GORMAN: Thomas Rawls will outrush Adrian Peterson during the Vikings-Seahawks Week 13 match NO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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